Cyberskin's Fleshlight

Men have been sticking their dicks into pretty much anything soft and squishy since the days of the caveman. Cavemen hoped to simulate the warm wet glory of the female vagina, but all they got was a sore dick and a pissed off woolly mammoth.


While not perfect, the Fleshlight Cyberskin may be the closest we mere mortals can come to fabricating the most Holy of Holies. 

The process is simple. You place your Henry Longfellow into a well-lubricated plastic-encased sleeve and go to town. The sleeve is made of a material that simulates the feel and suction of a vagina without the worry of buying it dinner. The realism is phenomenal and practically toe curling, both in look and feel, but what makes the Fleshlight truly unique is the customisation.

It comes with sleeves, but you can purchase many other different colours, shapes, tightness levels and even ones sculpted from your favourite adult stars.

Beyond the sleeves, there are mounts for your iPad, so you can watch adult films while you masturbate, a shower mount for those hands-free moments and even ground mounts that you can hump like a wild animal.

If there is one downfall of the Fleshlight, it’s cleanup. Sloppy seconds isn’t an option, but Cyberskin is a fickle material. It’s best to simply use a washcloth and warm water, but if you’re concerned about germs, then use the company’s Fleshclean.

If you can’t get laid, then Fleshlight is the closest to a girlfriend you’re gonna get.