Fear Not Fair Maiden, I Have My +1 Dildo of Might!

Ok, so maybe I roleplay a bit differently than you do, don’t judge me. Actually, I don’t roleplay at all. I just think it’s funny that we call a sexual game the same thing we call a type of game that people who don’t get laid play.

RolePlay

And it’s not because I think there’s anything wrong with roleplay, I just never got around to it. I think my first wife asked about it once, but never followed up with me. Since then I’ve had other activities that filled up the happy fun time with my more recent partners. Pretending to be other people has never seemed necessary to me.

Roleplay, as I understand it, used to be a thing that you did to “spice things up in the bedroom”. It’s almost a kind of sanctioned cheating. Put the wife in a red wig and call her “Brunhilda” for the evening. Then pretend she’s not the same woman you’ve been boinking every other Wednesday evening at 8 pm for the last 15 years. It could only really be better if she actually were someone else this evening. I can see the appeal.

With the advent of of the inter-tubes, roleplay has extended to chat rooms. You could now pretend you were anyone, doing anything, to random people from all over the world. Again, I missed out on this when it first came out. I love the internet and all the naked places it takes me, but I am not what you would call “savvy” when it comes to finding things. I have like 3 websites I visit. Two of them start with “You”. These chat rooms were something I had heard about, but never experienced myself. I can’t really say I’m all that upset though. I’m smart enough to know that “Wendy from Wyoming” is probably “Frank from Mom’s Basement”; and he’s probably 12.

Now where I have been exposed to roleplay is in the kinky world. Once a week or so I get an email from someone wanting to pretend to be my submissive for a little bit. They want to get virtually naked and tell me they are doing everything I tell them to do. On the plus side it usually results in some naked pictures, which can be a mixed blessing. However, I’ve found that I don’t really enjoy it much. Maybe because I actually have submissives who actually do the things I want them to do, and real life naked is normally much better than picture naked?  

Given my nearly complete lack of roleplay, I’m now tempted to slap a wig on one of my girls, paint her green, and see if it’s worth all the hype. I could be an astronaut who just landed on Mars and she’s the first alien chick I “plant my flag” in. Each week we could pick a different colour body paint and see how many imaginary planets I can visit in a month.

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