BDSM For Beginners: toys to start with

Since I recently went over some of the basic philosophies the BDSM community holds to, I wanted to discuss some beginner's toys if you want to start trying some of this kinky, fun stuff yourself.

SubmissiveWoman

If you haven’t read my piece on Demystifying BDSM that covers some of the ideas of safety and consent, please do so before trying out any of these toys/methods. Also, please note that this is not an instructional guide, further research into safe methods is highly advised before trying any of this on another live person.

 

Hands: You don’t really need anything else to get started. Spanking and slapping are both valid and fun ways to get your kink on. Whether it’s something as simple as slapping an ass, to learning how to grapple, to becoming proficient in rough body play; your hands are the most accessible tools you’ll have. Add a pair of leather gloves and you can change the sensation for your bottom greatly. Before you move on from basic spanking, please make sure you talk to other person and research the safest methods for more advanced types of play involving your hands.

Paddles: These are deceptively simple tools of the trade. They range from ping-pong paddles to custom made works of art. They can be stingy or thuddy, depending on the materials. With controlled pace and strength, you can get a lot of play time out of a paddle. As far as safety goes, this is something you want to limit to the fleshy parts of the butt and upper thighs only. Never strike the lower back/tailbone area with anything, especially something as heavy as a paddle. As with anything, test it on yourself first, so you know how it feels when you strike someone at various strengths.

Floggers: Probably one of the more iconic symbols of BDSM. I remember my first flogger and how much fun it was the first time I smacked someone with it. They are typically made from leather with a wooden handle, but I’ve seen them made from rope, rubber, and even Koosh. Depending on the material and how the falls are cut, they can provide a stingy or thuddy pain to the bottom. Mostly these are used on the torso, buttox, and legs. However, there are some important things you need to know before you start swinging a flogger at someone. First and foremost the danger zones: Stay away from the neck, head, spine, and lower back (kidney/sciatic nerve). You really do need to practice aim and technique on a target dummy (I use a pillow for all new toys till I feel I have control over the basics) before you ever think of striking someone else.

Riding Crops: Another Icon, and a person favourite of mine. These nasty little buggers provide light taps and slaps that can quickly escalate to some serious ouch. It’s a great little tool that can be used on most parts of the body with a bit of control and knowledge. They are also relatively inexpensive and easy to upkeep.

Rope: This is a bondage staple. You can go with an inexpensive poly blend or get into the more reliable natural fibres (hemp and jute). The natural fibres tend to hold knots better, but also will cost you a bit more cash. Plus, natural fibres can easily be fluid bonded (meaning because they can’t be sterilised, you only use them on one person) so if you enjoy playing with multiple partners, you have to have multiple sets. I personally love rope. It can be utilitarian, artistic, or functional. I can spend 5 minutes tying someone down to do other naughty things, or I can spend hours just tying them up in a pretty harness. This is one of those things where you really do need to know some basic anatomy to avoid nerve damage, blood flow restriction, or positional asphyxia. 

 

As I said before, please do some additional research before you actually engage in these types of play, talk to others on sites like FetLife.com, and get down with your kinky self. 

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