Study Links Porn To Marriage Rate Decline... Oh Wait, No It Doesn't!

I love porn. I’ve been watching it for many years and have been happily married a long time.  The opportunity for me to watch porn has never been an issue and yet a new study by an economics professor at Westchester University is saying I should not be married and living on Ramen noodles.

Guyonlaptop

The study examined the Internet habits of about 1500 men over four years and they discovered that (hold on to your shorts) the men who watched the most porn were single.  No shit Sherlock. When you don’t have a vagina to put your dick into on a regular basis, men will jerk off to porn. They’re not watching Ass Creamers #15 for the dynamic plot points.

The study goes on to say that watching porn negatively impacts marriage formation. That’s a longwinded way of saying that guys who watch porn are less likely to get married. Of course, that makes total sense. The natural fear of commitment most men have coupled with the incalculable amount of debt from college loans and the fact that men and women are putting their careers ahead of marriage has nothing to do with it. It’s all porn’s fault.

Fifty years ago people were getting married right out of high school. Today, they’re waiting longer because of many factors and porn isn’t one of them. I can honestly say the fact I watched a lot of porn had no impact on the age I got married…21 by the way and I’m still happily married at 37.

I can only imagine how many thousands of dollars were spent on a study that concluded that single men watch more porn that married men. My guess is they realized early on exactly how stupid this conclusion was and needed to do something to justify the expense, so they came up with this on the fly.

People try to blame everything on porn because it’s an easy target. It sets unrealistic expectations for sex, objectifies women, yada yada yada. I have known many adult women in the adult film world and they are some of the strongest and most confident women I know.  

It amazes me that in a world were processed food is killing us, the income gap between the rich and the poor is widening every day and people are shooting each other in the streets of small towns in America, that there’s still time to put all the blame on porn.