Is The Future Hermaphrodite?

I love the word ‘apparently’ because it is laser designed for the internet. It can be really hard to be certain about facts and yet that brief phase between something being possible and being real can be implied with ­that one simple nuance. That word alone has saved countless sleepless nights.

Apparently, scientists in Cambridge (implies the university, doesn’t actually say that) are on the verge of cracking possibly the most significant sexual technology since nature invented gender.

Naturally, we all started out as self-replicators. Our ancestors evolved enough to be hermaphrodites and as a result gender itself is actually a pretty random thing governed by more than one influx of hormones at different times in the womb.There is no such thing as a sexist plant as they may be randomly either or both genders depending on the wind. As a result, plants didn’t invent porn.

So what is this invention? Take a moment. It isn’t a 3d massaging tattoo printer or a chip for psionically generated GPS for the most genetically genial genitals, although those things are surely on the way - Apparently our species is on the verge of creating the technology by which two humans of the same gender can have genetic children as if they were doing it in the old fashioned way.

(I was going mention that the inspiration for this story came from ‘I Fucking Love Science’ but after abbreviating it to ‘IFLS’ found that it could refer to the ‘Institute for Female Legal Studies’ or the ‘Institute For Life Sciences’).

After considering that potential for a moment, it seems like big news for people in general and yet it may be also significant to porn although maybe it will only kick in after a few years. We can get lost in the pleasure of sexuality, only occasionally reflecting on the lucky origin that we have from the primates who screwed their way to the top of the food chain before us, yet how different would our culture be in a world where apes reproduced like plants?

If we didn’t make babies then we wouldn’t have started making porn. It is a reality that an endless number of paper tissues have had to cope with and at the same time I don’t think it is going too far to say that most people don’t do it for that reason. Naturally, if you want to be a future hermaphrodite then it will cost a lot of money and time. The good news for the rest of us is that anal sex will still not result in pregnancy unless you have signed the appropriate forms.