Is Chocolate Better Than Sex?

Many eminent poets, neurosurgeons and drug addicts: due to their similar effects on the human condition, have compared Love and Cocaine. It is of course much more complicated than this.


There are in fact more reasons for using mice in lab experiments than it simply being due to their physical similarities to humans. The maze will not be undertaken unless there is something tasty waiting at the destination. Mice must have a word/squeak for ‘Yummy’.

Does that mean chocolate is the orgasm you can have anywhere and still get sticky fingers?

As an editor at Red Roxy, I have undertaken an extensive, in-depth and most importantly - entirely theoretical study, of opinions from around the world.

When asked the question ‘Is chocolate better than sex?’

Most people when asked on the street said “I’m not buying either, leave me alone”

Most people when asked during sex said, “How did you get in? I am going to call the police”.

13% of politicians responded “Sex, unless I have an opportunity for invasion followed by chocolate.” (Note; this statistic was recounted until it gave us the figures we wanted).

89% of residents in Skyrim responded with “How can I know?”

67% of residents in Second Life responded with “Have you ever tried virtual chocolate?”

84% of residents in Vatican City said ‘Yes’, 11% said ‘not sure’ and the remainder asked to remain anonymous.

The guy with the chocolate factory and the meme replied with various opinions.

Charly stated that 33% of respondents had not tried chocolate.

Apparently it sets off some kind of sex chemical in the brain, particularly in women, so watch out.

The study was inconclusive. The debate still rages. In the name of science: if you think you have useful choco-sexual data, simply contact a local university/ psychologist and ask where you can submit your findings.