The Glory of the Sex Tape

I still remember my first sex tape with my first wife. It actually was a tape, this was back before digital recordings were a thing. And I loved everything about it. Sex tapes became our go to birthday present for me. It was cheap, easy, and never stopped giving.


I continued the practice with girlfriends since. Amazingly, most of them have had little to no issues with the idea of making them. Then again, I do tend to date kinky the womens, and they do tend to be a bit more open minded.

When I discuss sex tapes with people, the most common question is, “Why?” The answer is… because it’s fun, because it gives me my own personal porn to look at, and when you’re a fat 40 year old dude boinking a stupidly hot 18 year old you want proof that shit happened later on in life. My girls often have exhibitionistic sides that get fed from these kind of recordings. They get to show off for the camera, I get to benefit from it. Good not-so-clean fun had by all.

There are even entire categories of amateur porn for you to upload your very own sex tape for the entire world to enjoy. Granted, much of the “amateur” porn is staged and done by professionals. However, search hard enough and you can find some really fun stuff done by people just looking to show off a bit. I’ve never personally posted to a porn site, but there are bits and pieces of my doing naughty things to people strewn throughout the inter-web. 

Hell, the sex tape has even become the standard celebrity career reboot method. I wonder if managers are the ones holding the camera, trying hard to get bad lighting and fuzzy shots to make them seem genuine. I mean, these are people who make their career on camera, one would think they understood production value and their sex tapes would be awesome. But noooo… they make mine look like it was produced by HBO. Even with the abysmal quality, we love them and give them the attention they are seeking by “leaking” their intimate moments to the world.

Now, for some practical advice from someone who has made more than a couple naughty movies in his lifetime:

  • Don’t store your movies on your hard drive. Not only is your computer not nearly as secure as you think it is, if your computer dies, so does everything you have on it. I suggest having a memory stick or two dedicated to your captured private moments.
  • Ask before you film. This may seem like a no brainer, but consent is a thing and it is the height of douchebaggery to take pictures and / or videos of someone who doesn’t know you’re doing it.
  • Revenge posting / blackmail is an even higher height of douchebaggery. Enjoy the fact that someone trusted you with their private parts and don’t be that guy. 
  • Don’t use your phone, especially if it’s an iPhone. You can’t delete The Cloud. You can’t delete anything on your phone. Everything is stored forever. Plus, if you lose your phone some stranger now has possession of your happy fun time recordings.
  • Same things with email. When you send an email it gets stored somewhere. Emails get hacked all the time. Sending email is pretty much asking someone else to publish your pictures / videos because they can.

As I said, sex tapes are a wondrous thing. They are something that can be shared and enjoyed. They can help express kinks or just add a little spice to your sex life. If you take a little time to protect yourself, you can be relatively safe with it as well. Plus, if you screw the right person on tape and you might get famous yourself. You never know…

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