My Time With Online Dating Sites

Not all that long ago, people even more evil than I am decided that dating didn’t have enough rejection and judgement involved in it. So they created these things called dating sites that allow you to be judged and rejected by people from all over the world. 


Then some bastard decided that you should pay for the honour if you actually want a date. I’m kind of sad I didn’t think of it first. It truly is one of the most diabolical ideas of the modern age. 

Seriously though, we live in an age where most people meet online. I don’t remember the last date I had that didn’t originate online. Dating sites, social sites, even online video games have been sources of nookie for me over the last decade. As someone who remembers dating in a world without the internet, I find the transition to the current state of things fascinating. And I’m very interested to see where we take this.

Over the years I’ve tried a variety of sites. I was rejected by eHarmony, for reasons. I had minor success during my short time on Match. I can’t say I gave it too much of a chance. This was back when they were making their own fake profiles and using them to keep members subscribed. I figured it out on my own, called to complain, and magically I stopped receiving random emails from stupidly attractive women. Shortly after, I unsubscribed and never looked back. There are sorely neglected profiles on both Plenty Of Fish and OKCupid that I check on every 6 months or so.. However, when I did actually use those two sites, OKCupid was my preferred site. Up until it was taken over by Match, I used it frequently and met many wonderful women over the years. POF seemed dodgy to me. Maybe it was it’s very basic design and interface, but I never really felt like it was serious.

Currently, I’m trying out Tinder as research for this article. As I type this I’m swiping away. Left for most, because I’m stupidly picky; and obsessively right on anyone inappropriately young who looks like they might have daddy issues. Cause… well, thank the Gods for daddy issues. Tinder was one of those things that I figured would never catch on. It’s the ultimate in instant judgement and rejection. However, given that you can’t write someone until they swipe you right as well, the perceived rejection of not getting a response to your email is completely lacking. It’s a rather ingenious work around to one of the major sticking points people have with dating sites. Men hate not getting replies, women hate excessive emails from people who obviously are playing a numbers game. It also happens to have one of the highest rates of real life meetings of any dating tool around. 

I’ve come to the conclusion that if I want to search for a serious relationship, one of the paid sites is my best bet. If I just want casual dates, potential friends, or long distance naughty pen pals, the free sites are more likely to yield those results. If I want something to do this Saturday, Tinder is the way to go. Right now though, I don’t really use any of them. Tomorrow I’ll uninstall Tinder and deactivate my accounts across the inter-tubes matchmaking websites. Then I’ll probably flirt outrageously with the redhead down the hall and hope she had daddy issues as well.

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