Porn: What Do Women Want?

So… I’m a 40+ straight, white male; what the hell do I have to say on the subject of making porn more appealing to women? Honestly, probably not a lot on my own. Admittedly,  I’ve struggled with this assignment. After all, I am what porn caters to. 

Photo credits: Peter Bernik; Shutterstock

Photo credits: Peter Bernik; Shutterstock

My penis and I are perfectly happy with porn as it is and where it seems to be going. Therefore, I did what all 40+ straight white males have been taught not to do: I asked a woman. Actually, I asked several women. And I can’t really say I was overly surprised by the answers I received.

“Give us something real”, was probably the biggest and most passionate response. Women seem to be turned off by they fake nature of most porn. Perfect looking women doing things to a man that look good for the camera, but feel awful in real life, aren’t drawing women in. Sex in porn isn’t about two people connecting and having a good time, it’s about what looks good on camera. While we guys are perfectly fine with this concept, women don’t seem to be.

“Give us connections.” In most porn scenes the female talent could be replaced with a sex toy and there be as much of a connection between the two as you get with the actor and actress right now. I get it, most porn is made to visually stimulate men. We don’t care if he knows her name, just what she’s gonna do to his penis. Women do care. It’s a large part of why lesbian scenes are by far the most searched for category by women.

“We have a clit.” I’m not sure when porn forgot women have a clitoris, but most women don’t orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. It’s another reason lesbian porn is so popular, as well as searches relating to cunnilingus. I can’t remember the last time I watched something where the male talent even bothered to touch a woman in a sensual manner, more or less in an effort to help her achieve an orgasm with something other than his penis.

“For Women porn is just guy porn with music and soft focus.” I actually had to check this one out for myself. I can’t say I’ve ever clicked “For Women”, so I had no real idea what it consisted of. I had visions of a more graphic version of most Hollywood sex scenes. Imagine my surprise when half of the first page was covered in sensual blowjob videos, and the rest was pretty much guy porn with music and soft focus. Very, very little was what women actually seem to want to watch.

Here’s the thing. Women do actually like porn. I don’t know a woman who doesn’t have at least a favourite go to scene they’ve downloaded or bookmarked. But their selection is so minuscule, that they don’t bother searching through the forest of stuff made for men to find the occasional piece that brings to lightthe things they find erotic and attractive. 

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