If I Ruled the Virtual Reality World

The latest assignment from my new digital overlords was: If you were in charge of the Adult Virtual Reality industry, what would you do?

Photo credits: Microsoft Corporation.

Photo credits: Microsoft Corporation.

My mind immediately went exactly where they probably feared it would. I had visions of what can only be described as a high tech casting couch scenario. “Ladies, in order to ensure the highest quality products for our clients, I will have to personally experience everything each of you has to offer. Understand that this is strictly for R&D purposes. I shall derive absolutely no sexual gratification from this. Now, please open wide for science.” 

For some reason, I didn’t quite think that was exactly in line with what they had in mind. So, six and a half minutes later, I closed my browser and got straight to work. 

I’m going to assume you read my last piece on the potential this particular technology has for ending civilisation as we know it. If not, I highly suggest checking it out. Partially, because a I’m narcissistic bastard and want you to read everything I write. More importantly though, I did touch on where the adult industry is currently taking virtual reality. Which seems to be mostly focused on the the realms of interactive porn and 3D social networking. VR compatible videos are already making their way to adult websites and VR goggles that interact with your smartphone are on the market. By the time you read this, The Oculus Rift VR System should be available for your perving pleasure.

All of which, quite frankly, is the awesomest of awesome things. However, if I were running of one of the VR tech firms, I’d be leading the charge towards the applications this technology offers that could truly end life as we know it. Cause, ya know... Evil.

There’s this groovy little thing out there called a Clone-A-Willy. Basically, it's this tube you stick your mandingle in, that then allows you to make a replica of said mandingle. Perfect for those of you wanting to share your magical member with the people you lust, or for those of you who want to create the worst Halloween candy handout ever. This gives you an idea of the general direction I’d go; take something the adult industry wants us to consume, allow the consumer to create their own content. 

Granted, there is a lot of money to be made in the professional applications of this technology, and the bulk of items being made for at home use seem to be focusing on applications where the customer is meant to consume professionally created content. However, I believe the amateur content creation market potential is limitless. Imagine a phone app that does 3D body scans, do it yourself disembodied happy-bit kits with customisable settings, Skype interfacing, programs / technology that allow you to turn multiple webcams into a 3D recording device… You see where I’m going here, right?

For example, let’s look at my own favourite part of the current amateur adult industry: The cam girl. These are some of the most intelligent, beautiful, and savvy women on the planet. Give them access to this technology and they will run with it. They already have a built in customer base for your products. Men will buy these things for them in droves. Then the guys will buy all the accessories they need in order to interact with their favourite girls. Suddenly, instead of watching her on a flat screen, he gets to put on a pair of glasses, plug himself into his very own personal version of her woohoo, and e-boink her into next week.

The base code that allows the above to happen can be extended to, and integrated with, dating and social media sites/apps. You and Tiffany are hitting it off? You press a button, she hits accept, the inter-tubes does the voodoo it do, your USB devices adjust to new settings, and suddenly you and Tiffany are bumping virtual uglies. Add a few kinky options, say like electrical shock for those who are into that kind of thing, and Bob’s your uncle. 

If I were in charge, that is where I’d go next. I’d make content creation technology available to the general public, sell the fact that no one ever needs to leave the house again to make the sexy-fun-times with someone, and then sit back and watch the world burn. 

I mean… sit back and watch the profits roll in.

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