Funny, Sexy, Scary!

Sex, comedy and horror are as inseparable as peanut butter and jelly (which is often been used in both sex and horror as well). Horror has always been a primal genre.  It features horrific creatures that prey on the innocent. Those that aren’t so innocent get killed off first, usually with a humorous twist.


I can always tell who is the next to die in a horror movie. It’s the one that either just showed us her tits or had sex. As an avid horror fan, I give you five of the funniest yet sexiest scenes in horror history.

5. Jason X – Camp Crystal Lake Hologram

Jason X is about as bad a movie as you can get and that’s what makes it awesome. It’s not afraid to make fun of itself and the genre. I mean, it’s Jason in space. Near the ending of the movie, the survivors try and distract Jason with a hologram of Crystal Lake. Two young women in proper 1980s attire, are drinking, smoking weed and proudly proclaim they are going to have premarital sex before taking off their shirts and getting into a couple sleeping bags. He grabs one bag with the girl still wrapped in it and begins slamming it into the other bag. Of course, these women aren’t real, so they’re just giggling as he wallops them again and again.


4. Cabin In The Woods - Kiss The Moose

Anytime we get to see a former Power Ranger naked is a good day,  but before that she made out with a moose…a stuffed one pervos. Well, it was actually a wolf, but Fran Kranz’s character was so stoned he couldn’t tell. Jules and the rest of the group have lost their inhibitions thanks to a few well-placed chemicals. She walks up to the wolf with its tongue sticking out and proceeds to French kiss it. While this sounds like something horrific, she somehow makes it boner worthy. 


3.  Bride of Chucky – Doll Sex

While sex dolls are nothing new, Bride of Chucky took it to the next level. Chucky proposes to his doll girlfriend in front of a roaring fire and as the couple embrace…well…they have sex. I’m not too proud to say that I got a little horny when they showed the girl dolls back end. Wait…yep, I am too proud. I’m going to need therapy now. The scene was delightfully funny and disturbing at the same time. You’re not quite sure how to feel, except dirty.


2. Species – Alfred Molina Sex

I’m a big fan of actor Alfred Molina. He played Doc Ock in Spider-Man after all, but he’s an unfortunate looking man. He lacks the sex appeal of Bugs Bunny as well as Brad Pitt. Natasha Henstridge plays an alien that’s looking for a little nookie and finally gets it with Molina. You feel a little queasy as she rides him. A mix of “Wow, she so hot” and “Wow, please don’t pan the camera to that guys face again.” You can’t help but laugh. The ride into awkward nether-region-feeling hell continues as she begins to alien out mid-coitus.


1. Night of the Living Dead – Trash Takes Her Clothes Off…Again

Linnea Quigley is the queen of scream and has shown her lady bits more times than I can count. Quigley played Trash, a punk rocker with a love of the macabre. As the group party in the cemetery, trash tells a friend that she often dreams about death especially about old men grabbing and devouring her. Trash gets horny in the cemetery and takes off all her clothes to some of the worst 80’s music.